I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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