They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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