addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
