I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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