I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
