trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
