I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
