Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
