My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
