Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
