Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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