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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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