FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize