Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
