You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
