It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
