bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
