They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
