oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
