You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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