She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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