So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
