you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
where are my eyebrows?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
