i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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