??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
