I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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