is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
