Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize