More tranny stories later!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
