Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
