Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
is that a dick in a sweater?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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