I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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