THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
