I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
