wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
