I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
