I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
