Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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