So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
