he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
