He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
