what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
