Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
