Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize