no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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