it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
