Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
