Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
