Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
