after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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