Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
