how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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