We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Small penises have feelings too.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
