foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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