This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think a kid would responsible me up
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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