Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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