there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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