You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize