i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
