You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
