she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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