He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
