It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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