Me too!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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