what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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