it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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