I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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